Respecting Languages

For someone who speaks fluently as well as signs fluently, respect comes a long way. As I painfully learned this past week when I was on vacation in Florida, visiting my grandmother, I've always wanted to speak instead of sign. My choice. My parents knew and understood the value of signing ever since I was "discovered" deaf at the age of 3 (I was already deaf at 1 year old). They impressed upon me the importance of signing as well as speaking.

I was already speaking fluently when I requested to stop speech classes at the deaf school I attended in my junior year. I already can't hear, so what's the point of training my hearing when I can speak. I guess I already accepted the gift and curse of being able to speak as well as sign fluently. No bragging but I'm an above average lipreader, so I was fine with what I had.

Before I read my letters to my grandmother, I had disillusioned myself as the person who always wanted to sign rather than speak. How intriguing is it to find myself reading MY letters to find out that "oh boy!" I wanted to speak; however, as I learned, I am better for being myself, whether I sign or speak.

Anyway, the relevance of this topic is this....approximately three weeks ago, there was a deaf event held locally. Of course everyone signs - no big deal, it's great. There was a group of students (hearing) learning ASL, cool you think right? Nope, very discouraging.

This group sat at a table away from the deaf people and used their voices, perhaps a flutter of hands here and there but primarily using their voices. WHAT, you say. Yep, ain't kidding you there.

Another thing before I go on. There were two people that I met the year before and I asked one of them " How are you?", the person couldn't answer me. I was momentairly confused. I asked again. The person asnwered me back with "Waiting for (person)". Dumbfoundly, OH.

I encouraged a few friends to go up and talk to them (I was disgusted and I do not mingle well when disgusted). My friends did go and talk to them, when I decided to play a game with them. The group did not know how to play the game so another friend and I explained the game to the entire group, including the other friends. Then we sat down. I asked each to introduce themselves. All of them attended one school in Hammond and most were level 2 ASL students. Signing not bad, but not much talking back and forth, questions, inquiries...just playing the game.

After the game, that was it, they went back and used their voices again. AGAIN? Yeah. Disappointed? Yes. I sent an email to their teacher. I stated "If we (both of us) made the choice to learn how to talk with our voices, we are extending respect to their spoken language, where is their respect for our primary langauge - ASL?"

Thinking about it, I'm right. If we are willing to learn how to speak, we are extending respect to a language that is not deaf-friendly at all (speaking-wise). If hearing people are willing to take our classes and learn the language, the same respect needs to be extended to ASL (American Sign Language).

Being forced to learn something that is not deaf or hearing-friendly is another story. Growing up with speaking English and signing ASL is a natural way of life. Remember, this applies if the person is a willing learner of both languages. If one doesn't want to learn the language, don't bother learning it anymore than one needs to.

I wonder if parents realize this, or basically anyone out there. Denial of a language that is native to this world creates a frustrated inability to communicate. Denial of lingual acceptance creates a culture that is anti-multicultural. Forcing children to learn a secondary language over a primary language does not create a child with a spongy brain. The children would have to work doubly hard to catch up with the secondary language to maintain "intelligence". A primary language working with the secondary language (parallel method) creates flexibility and choice in how to use language to the benefit and the most of a situation.

You note, I do not say anything about a primary language. In this case as a Deaf American, I sign ASL, speak and write English. ASL and English share words to describe or explain things that we see, imagine and feel. For written language, it is primary to the entire population of America (other than Spanish, French and other languages) that we write English. Speaking English or Signing ASL has the same prinicpal, structure and usage.....in different ways.

Those who use English everyday - that's our primary language as a group of American citizens; however, speaking a language or signing a language is different from a written language. For those who speak English, listen to those who come from the East Coast, Mississippi, Colorado and the West Coast - they don't speak the same type of English that we in the Midwest speak. For those who sign ASL, we all pretty much know that anyone from any point in the US sign a little bit different from those who sign here in the Midwest.

Speaking or Signing a language is not perfect - writing them is. Audists live with the perspective that their spoken language is the perfect language in the world. Manualists live with the perspective that their signing language is the only one in the world. In reality, any version of speaking or signed language is the most appropriate for the region.

Basically, all we need is to acknowledge and respect each other's language and learn it the way others actually use it everyday. Speaking or Signed, doesn't matter - RESPECT does. If you learn ASL and go to a deaf event, don't speak, you will not learn how to use ASL the way deaf people do it. If I learn how to speak, I do not do it the way deaf people speak, I do it the way hearing people in my community speak. I learned French - I can attest to this - I do not learn French the way English people use it. I learn it the way French people use it, that's the best way and closest way to reach the heart, soul and core of French speaking people and its culture.

Again, ask yourselves - am I respecting the others' langauge as I am learning it or am I ignoring the bountiful opportunities to learn another language by reverting back to my primary language?

I learned to speak (fluently or not, don't care, I wanted to period), I am respecting the spoken language used everyday. You learn to sign (or learning), are you respecting the language I use everyday? Ummmmmm